PMS | H2O Clan Website - Blogs http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php Discussion forum for PMS and H2O Clan en Fri, 30 Jul 2010 17:06:11 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/images/pms/misc/rss.jpg PMS | H2O Clan Website - Blogs http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php Late shift oh wow http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1440 Wed, 14 Jul 2010 20:03:18 GMT SO yeah, gonna be working from 10 PM til 7 AM in the morning...any ever serve these hours before. I expect drunk people. SO yeah, gonna be working from 10 PM til 7 AM in the morning...any ever serve these hours before. I expect drunk people. ]]> Kestral H2O http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1440 Losing your special friend. http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1427 Tue, 06 Jul 2010 07:25:47 GMT Im still really sad and kind of came to terms with it but losing my first pet....it really hit me harder than any other bad thing that has happened... Im still really sad and kind of came to terms with it but losing my first pet....it really hit me harder than any other bad thing that has happened to me this year. Sam...my cat..has been in my life for 15 years...all the things that made me sad or upset..and my cat was always there to keep me company..Im...really blank faced though..like I feel like a zombie, like i really dont give a care in the world anymore, like i feel like I'm just going to coast along and not worry anymore...I mean all I have is myself..things just get a lot more complicated these days as life goes on. ]]> Kestral H2O http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1427 Do your BEST nothing LESS, motivation blog http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1426 Mon, 05 Jul 2010 00:50:15 GMT Do your best nothing less. that should be your motto everyday when you wake up. why settle going about your day at only 80% of what your worth?... Do your best nothing less.

that should be your motto everyday when you wake up. why settle going about your day at only 80% of what your worth? would it really kill you to use up another 20% to get what your all worth. now im writing this today to explain to you where 90% of americans mindsets are and the other 10% are. do you want to be a shlep or leader. think of it this way if you are employed are you a worker or the manager? are you calling the shots or is someone telling your to? can you honestly sit their and say to yourself that your nothing but a number in your work place. now what does all this entail and why am i blogging about this.

couple years ago when i was 19 i had absolutly nothing got kicked out of my house was staying at friends houses no job, just a complete mess. than i got my gf at the time pregnant, thats when it all hit me. i had to do something, Failure was not a option for me. i started doing collections since it was the only fulltime job i could get at the time, bills backed up $13k in debt, i had nothing. i set my goal up accordingly to be the best collector in that company. first month i killed the top producer their my first month for the next 3 years i was the best collector in the office, i was bringing home an average of $4000/month. my gf misscarried and no more baby for motivation. but i still wanted to be the the best i wanted everyone know that i am the best. i didn't want to go back to where i was i wanted to progress, so i started my own business on the side doing collections. i was 23 when i first started my 1 man company and now in the past year i profited $400k, and have a small office of 10 collectors, now by next year im estimated to make $900-1mil. your thinking oh we don't know this kid, this kid can just be some loser living at home with his parents making stuff up. its attitude like that, that will make you fail your goals.

if you think you cant make 1mil in a year at a early age, guess what your not going to, your just another shlep on the working ratio. hey how about you keep buying those silly lottery tickets and try to get the money at an early age without working for it.
you have to set-up REALISTIC goals. golas that you didn't reach is your own fault. reasons why goals cant be copmleted is because you didn't do your best to achieve it or you made an unrealistic goal.
get rid of the terms "i cant" or "i'll try". people saying i cant are lazy, people that say i'll try, don't beleive that they can do it.
if you don't beleive how will you succed? u just set yourself up for failure.

i want you to think of something everyday that you can improve on and than work on it for the day, and give it 100%, my trick everyday is to pretend that if i finish this task with 100% effort their will be $1mil waiting for me in my car.
example of your mindset. if i told you, you have 8 hours to come up with $1000 cash, would you say no problem? or would you say you cant?



if you stated you cant, your weak.



now if i told you have 8 hours to come up with $1500 cash, and if you copmlete that task you will receieve $100k, now im pretty sure you can say you can get the money.

remember life is all about 2 things, Pain and Pleasure. Pressure on Pressure off. Give and Take. no matter how you state it thats what humans do.

now what do you want to to be, the top 10% of americans or the bottom 80%? its your choice, i know where i want to be. ]]> Flippy Floppys http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1426 July 4th, 1776 ~ We Hold These Truths to be Self-Evident http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1425 Sun, 04 Jul 2010 15:58:24 GMT *Declaration of Independence* *The Unanimous Declaration of the Thirteen United States of America * When, in the course of human events, it... Declaration of Independence

The Unanimous Declaration of the Thirteen United States of America


When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security. --Such has been the patient sufferance of these colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former systems of government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these states. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his assent to laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his governors to pass laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of representation in the legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved representative houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the legislative powers, incapable of annihilation, have returned to the people at large for their exercise; the state remaining in the meantime exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavored to prevent the population of these states; for that purpose obstructing the laws for naturalization of foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migration hither, and raising the conditions of new appropriations of lands.

He has obstructed the administration of justice, by refusing his assent to laws for establishing judiciary powers.

He has made judges dependent on his will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, standing armies without the consent of our legislature.

He has affected to render the military independent of and superior to civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his assent to their acts of pretended legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment for any murders which they should commit on the inhabitants of these states:

For cutting off our trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing taxes on us without our consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of trial by jury:

For transporting us beyond seas to be tried for pretended offenses:

For abolishing the free system of English laws in a neighboring province, establishing therein an arbitrary government, and enlarging its boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule in these colonies:

For taking away our charters, abolishing our most valuable laws, and altering fundamentally the forms of our governments:

For suspending our own legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated government here, by declaring us out of his protection and waging war against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burned our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow citizens taken captive on the high seas to bear arms against their country, to become the executioners of their friends and brethren, or to fall themselves by their hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavored to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian savages, whose known rule of warfare, is undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have we been wanting in attention to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, enemies in war, in peace friends.

We, therefore, the representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the good people of these colonies, solemnly publish and declare, that these united colonies are, and of right ought to be free and independent states; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the state of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and independent states, they have full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and to do all other acts and things which independent states may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.

New Hampshire: Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts: John Hancock, Samual Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island: Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut: Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York: William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey: Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania: Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware: Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland: Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia: George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina: William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina: Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia: Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

]]> PMS Solincia http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1425 Unknown Error http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1416 Wed, 30 Jun 2010 05:49:04 GMT Unknown Error Unknown Error ]]> H2O Battles http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1416 In Debt? I can help http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1415 Wed, 30 Jun 2010 01:07:41 GMT Everyone thinks bad things when they here the term Collector, and debt. why is that so negative? Ive been a collector for quite sometime now and i... Everyone thinks bad things when they here the term Collector, and debt. why is that so negative? Ive been a collector for quite sometime now and i can assure you that were only here to help not make the problem worse. if yo dont want to answer our calls thats your own perogative but if you do you might like what we have to say.
we will ask for the balance in full,BIF, thats our job but were not going to tell you we can split up the balance up to usualy 6months.
we can reduce your blance so you can pay either 50% or less on your bill, mind the fact it shows on your credit report as a settled in full account rather than paid in full.
you see these credit consolidator commercials which is just a scam, you can do what they can do without paying someone to do it. now isn't that better? i thought so.

ive helped my friends and family get out of debt and i can help you. if you ahve any questions feel free to PM me and i'll explain your question in full detail. collectors aren't bad people were just here to actually help. keep in mind when you talk to collectors they will be firm with you, your going to have to negotiate good to get what you want. a fyi for you debtors it is 100% legal for us to call your neighbors/family/friends/coworkers/place of employment to gather information on you. but we cannot disclose any of your personal information as to relating that you owe a debt. so save yourself the trouble of having other people you know getting a call for you. get it taken care of. u know you owe it, we know you owe it so now lets just agree on terms on how to resolve it.

anther note always ask for documentation as to what the arrangements are and paid letters, if you make a settlemenet or payment arrangement ask them to fax or email stating that these are the dates specified when funds will be taken out of your account to put towards the debt, also when it is all paid off make sure you ask them for a letter stating that this is all paid off and you owe nothing left on this. this is ur trumph card if aother agency gets your paper work and trys to collect on it when you alredy paid it.

we have to abide by FDCPA, fair debt collections practice act, which protects you from out of the box harassment, example we cant tell you were calling the cops to sue you and so forth, we can disclose any information on the debt to 3rd party, spouse we can except in the states of iowa, illnois, massachusettes. and so forth you can look it all up online.

so i hope this helps your people that need it like i said if you have questions i can help you mores specifically to your needs ]]> Flippy Floppys http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1415 to those who want to be anorexic http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1414 Tue, 29 Jun 2010 22:21:51 GMT I did not write this, I found it on one of the websites i frequent and wanted to share it with you all.

"So…you think starving is a good way to lose weight, do you? I think you’ve read too many fairy tales. Well, this isn’t one. Neither are eating disorders. They are sheer and total HELL. But, since you want one, I’ll go ahead and prep you for it. I’ll let you know exactly what will happen to you. If this doesn’t make you realize how completely stupid running out there and trying to develop anorexia is, then I wish you the best of luck in killing yourself. Because that’s all you’ll be doing.

The completely ironic part about people trying to lose weight by starving is that half the time it does not work. I bet you think you’ll wind up insanely thin and gorgeous, right? Wrong. You won’t be gorgeous. One thing’s for certain. Insane is a definite part of the package. Your mind won’t be yours anymore. Kiss it goodbye - I hope you didn’t enjoy it.

The less you eat, the lower your metabolism goes. You might starve and starve and barely lose anything, or you might be extra lucky - you might starve and starve and gain weight. Your body might just shut itself down and the weight won’t go anywhere. And, even though you aren’t losing, you’ll still be HOOKED. You still won’t be able to stop. By the time your body shuts off from malnutrition, you’ll be too far in it to think: “Oh…this isn’t working…I think I’ll eat again.” No…you’ll be desperate and eat less and less and work out more and more. Eventually, you won’t be ABLE to work out. Your muscles will eventually stop cooperating. Then you’ll panic and try and eat even less to compensate for not being able to work your ass off (simply a figure of speech, since you’re not losing any weight, of course). By then you can’t eat less though. You’re barely eating enough to stay alive as it is. And, you can’t stop. It isn’t working and you still can’t stop. And, whether it’s working or not, you won’t see the truth. You’ll never actually know what you look like. Nope. No matter what you’ll think you must weigh at least four hundred pounds. This is true if you weigh 150, or if you weigh 70. You will be fat. Insane is the proper term for it, isn’t it? Yes, you might just be one of the lucky ones, one of the ones that doesn’t lose weight. But, don’t sit there and think that means you won’t be sick. Not true. Not true at all. Your skin and hair will be dry, your teeth sore, your period gone, your bones aching, your muscles cramping…well, no need to go on. You still want this, of course. After all, you won’t be like that. You won’t be one of the failures. You’ll be successful; you’ll be thin and perfect. Beautiful.

Well, since you’re going to win, why don’t I tell you about your prize, hmm?? It’s quite nice. You will be skinny. You will be sickly thin. Your ribs will stand out and your hipbones will be sharp. You won’t see it. You’ll look in the mirror and see fat. You’ll see rolls. You’ll look at girls who weight fifty pounds more than you and wonder why you can’t be as thin as they are. You’ll look in the mirror everyday and swear that you’ve gained at least ten pounds. Other people will see you shrink, but you won’t get to watch. You’ll never see the truth. Others will though. You’ll be sickly skinny, but you won’t be pretty. And, they’ll all see that. You won’t though…you’ll be too busy staring at your ass and wondering when you turned into your fat Aunt Bertha. You will not be attractive. You won’t. You’ll have huge dark circles. Your skin will be pasty pale and have a lovely gray tint to it. Makeup will NOT help this. It won’t, so don’t think it will. Don’t even bother to attempt it. You’ll be wasting your time; time that could be better spent doing your usual pastime, staring into the pantry to watch the food. Of course, people might not notice that you’re gray. They could be too busy staring at the dark black, blue, and purple spots you’re covered in. Everything you do will result in a bruise. Everything. Do you have pretty hair? You won’t anymore. It will be straw dry and dull. It will not shine. Think conditioner will help? It won’t. It won’t and there’s no sense in trying it. It might soften your hair for a while (after you use half the bottle, of course), but it won’t make your hair look any better. Buy a ponytail holder. You’ll need it. You’ll probably be wearing it all the time. You’ll also need some hair dye. I sincerely hope your hair isn’t a nice color….because it won’t be soon. Yes…the color of your hair will fade out. You might even get grays. But gray is a nice color, isn’t it? I rather like it. I think the grayish brown color where my natural red and blonde highlights used to be adds a bit of…oh…dignity to my look. Speaking of hair, do you like facial hair? I hope so. You’ll have it. I have some lovely sideburns. Quite gorgeous. Actually, I have sexy hair everywhere. Fuzz, fuzz, fuzz. It’s hot. All the guys love it, and all the girls I know ask how to get some. They’re jealous, you know. I tell them how I got it, starving. They never attempt it…I know why though. It’s not because they’re smart and healthy…no, no. It’s because they’re weak. Not strong like me. Of course, my muscles are deteriorating as we speak and I can no longer use even my five pound weights. But, I’m still strong, aren’t I? Yes…because I don’t eat. And that’s true strength, isn’t it? Denying yourself the basic fuel you need for life. Yup…strong and smart.

I bet you’re one of those girls will the enviable natural nails. Those shiny ones that are so long people sometimes think they’re fake? Cut them. Go ahead and cut them off now. They’ll only break soon anyway. Kiss your newly gray hair goodbye too. It’ll be falling out about now. You get to clean the drain about six times during your shower, just so the water will go down. Also, you’ll need to find a way to throw away your tampons to make it look as if you’ve been using them. Remember to tell your mom to buy you tampons once a month. Can’t have her knowing you lost your period. And, you will. I hope you’re not having sex, because you’ll never know if you’re pregnant or not. I guess you can just take a test every few weeks. And yes…you can still get pregnant. I hope you don’t love the baby though, because chances are you’ll lose it. It would probably be for the best if you did though, because of the nice birth defects caused by eating disorders. So, you might get to live with the knowledge that your child died, or had to go through life with a terrible disability because of you. But, it was worth it for thinness. A small price to pay for perfection, even though you’re not the one paying it. Who needs their full mental capabilities anyway? I hope your kid doesn’t. But, that might not be a problem. You might never have children. You might become infertile. Oh well…pregnancy makes you fat anyway.

Since you’re one of the special ones, one of the anorexic ones, I’ll bet you enjoy ice water. Pour it out. Drink plain water - warm diet coke. It hurts too badly to drink iced drinks. You’re taking sensitive teeth to a new level. Forget those special toothpastes though. They don’t work when your teeth are slowly dying from vitamin deficiencies. Never liked those teeth anyway. Dentures are nice. How do you like to sit? Oh…you like your legs crossed? Hmm…too bad. Can’t do that anymore. Your legs will fall asleep all the way up to your hips. Painfully asleep. This isn’t like what you’re used to, that tingly feeling. This hurts. A word of advice. After uncrossing them, just sit there. Don’t try moving them, or hitting them to wake them up. Bad idea…very painful. Don’t stand up either, unless you enjoy collapsing.

Fainting is common too. And, don’t think this is something you can hide. Whenever you pass out dead in the living room in front of your mom or brother they’ll wonder why…and unless they’re complete idiots they’ll probably know why…especially if you’re 30 pounds underweight. Get ready for nagging. Eat this, eat that, why are you doing this to yourself?? You could always go to your room to escape though. Then you can lie in bed and bite your lip until it bleeds. Why would you want to do that, do you ask? Because of the leg cramps, of course…oh! I must’ve forgotten to mention those! Oooh…the cramps are nice. Your muscles are balled into excruciating knots. You’ll double over to massage the knots out and…what? There are no knots. There IS no rubbing the knots out, because there are no knots. It just feels like it. There’s nothing you can do. You just get to lie there and try not to scream. And trust me…you’ll want to. Of course, you could always rub your legs anyway…it might make you feel better to pretend there’s something you can do to help them. But, you might not be thinking about your legs…you might be distracted by the headaches. Take some aspirin…oooh…or don’t. Your tummy’s too empty; it’ll only make you throw up everywhere.

It’s worth it, right? Anything’s worth it. Even your hair, nails, bones, muscles, possible children, your family’s heart, everything. Sacrifice it all, throw it all away. You’re thin now - that’s what counts even though you don’t know it.

You’ll probably get chest pains. Maybe heart flutters. This is scary too, because you never wanted to die, you just wanted to be thin. But, remember you can’t tell. Telling is forbidden and asking for help is weak.

Do you have problems with depression? You do now. The less you eat the more depressed you become. Partially from vitamin deficiencies, partially from your lovely eating disorder. Do you have problems with insomnia? That’s right, you’ve got that now too. You’re exhausted beyond belief, but you still can’t fall asleep…and when you do, you can’t stay asleep. Who needs sleep though?? Not you. Staying awake burns more calories anyway. Do you do well in school? You don’t now. You can’t concentrate. Your mind won’t function, and the only thing you can actually think about is food anyway. Your grades will fall. Want to recover? You’ll probably have to leave school. How does repeating a grade sound? Do you like going out with friends? You won’t for long. You’ll be afraid someone might notice how obese you are. You can’t leave the house now without hiding under tons of clothes…you’re terrified someone might see your repulsive body. You’ll become more nervous too. Jittery. You’ll also have difficulty talking. Oh…have you never had a stuttering problem? Well, you do now. You also forget what you wanted to say alot. Goodbye memory. And you can’t go out with friends anyway, so I guess it’s a good thing you no longer enjoy it. If you go out with friends they might want to eat! Maybe they’ll want to go to a restaurant or the movies. How can you explain that you don’t want any popcorn? How can you find an excuse for sitting there at the table sipping Diet Dr. Pepper or nibbling a salad and water while everyone else has cheeseburgers?? You can’t. And, they might make you eat. You can’t do that…no. But, why do they want you to eat? Is it because they care? No. Its because they WANT you to be fat!! How dare they?? They’re jealous…that’s it, they’re jealous. Soon you’ll realize something. Everyone wants you to be fat. Your parents, your siblings, teachers, friends. The world is against you and they all want you to spiral into morbid obesity. Get away from them. All of them. They don’t understand and they’re plotting your downfall. You can’t have that - you can’t lose this. Every time someone urges you to eat or recover “for your health” you know the truth. They hate you and want you to be fat. Push them away. Push away all the people who love you. That’s the only way you’ll ever be thin.

But, one day this will be over. One day you will either die or recover. Death is easier. First you’ll have to admit you need help (that is, on the chance that you haven’t been forced into recovery…recovery that will not work until you cooperate). This is one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. Maybe you’ll tell your mom. She might be wonderfully supportive, she might’ve already known. Or, maybe she won’t think you have a real problem. Then you’re on your own. Maybe you’ll tell your doctor. And, if you tell your mom she’ll take you to a doctor. Then it’s better. You’re safe now, they’ll help you. They’ll understand. Wrong. A degree is not an insurance against ignorance. Speaking of insurance…it only pays so much on mental health problems. And, ED treatment costs are outrageous. So, even if you find a doctor that knows his ass from a hole in the ground you might not be able to get help. You might not be able to afford it. As you recover, your school might have to know. Your teachers will not understand. Students might find out; they won’t understand either. Their comments will hurt - you’ll want to scream when they ask why you don’t just eat. They might call you fat just for fun. Someone might start to admire you and try to become anorexic too…but then, you’ve been there. You wanted to be anorexic once and you never realized how stupid you were. You know it now, but it’s too late. It’s too late and you have to fight this or die…and fighting it is the hardest thing you’ve ever done. You’ll put food in your mouth - that disgusting, terrible food, and panic and want to cry. Maybe you will cry. Maybe you’ll freak and spit it back out. Maybe you’ll refuse to eat and get a lovely feeding tube. Triggers are everywhere, and you want to kill yourself more with each bite you swallow. Maybe you will kill yourself. Maybe you’ll fight, and fight, and enter recovery only to die while in recovery, or even afterwards from complications caused by your years of having an eating disorder. After fighting for the longest time maybe you will get out. Maybe, after numerous slip ups and times that were so hard you thought you’d die, you recover. It takes a while. Even after you’ve eaten right for months, and months your body still isn’t the same. You start to wonder if it will ever be the same again. It might, but you won’t. No. This will always be a part of you - it will never go away. Years later it will still be with you, you will still have those moments. Sometimes you’ll pass a mirror and suddenly be 200 pounds larger. You’ll panic and shake your head, trying to clear the image away. Something will happen in your life, maybe you’ll lose your job. Something will happen to take away your control and you’ll try to gain it back through starving. You will NEVER be the same. You’ll see an article on a someone with an eating disorder and you’ll start to cry, remembering that terrible pain. I’m not talking about the physical pain. That’s the only pain I described, because it’s the only part that’s describable. There are no words for the mental anguish. It can never be described. It’s unimaginable. You’ll never feel another pain like that, another pain so filled with self loathing, vulnerability, terror, rage, desolation…

WHY do you want this?? WHY?!? I know, even after reading this, that you’re still sitting there wanting this. Why? What is it you want?? Is it beauty? Do you honestly think you won’t be like this?? Do you honestly think malnutrition won’t steal your looks? Is it glamour? READ THIS. Show me the glamour. Is it control?? Let me tell you, you’ll NEVER be more out of control than you are when you have an eating disorder. You don’t control what you put in your mouth. Hell, you don’t even control your thoughts. You have NO control. None. Do you honestly think that you’ll be able to do this and not wind up this way? Do you think you are the one person on earth who can control this, who can just stop??? Do you think that maybe you can just do this, get thin, and stop?? WRONG! It doesn’t work that way. Do you WANT to die? Do you want to be a martyr or something? Do you think this is beautiful? I bet you think its some sort of tragic beauty. It’s not. There’s nothing beautiful about it. Do you want some attention? Buy a new eyeliner - dance naked in the streets. Needing attention is a natural thing, but there are a hell of alot better ways to get it. Do you want to look at your family’s faces and know that you’re killing them too? Imagine watching your child killing themselves. Imagine your helplessness. Imagine KNOWING that they’re dying and KNOWING that there’s NOTHING that you can do. Imagine fearing the day you’ll come home to find them dead from this. Just sit there and try to think about it. Of course, while you’re starving yourself you won’t see that anguish. You won’t be able to. You can’t see anything; you’re too self absorbed. You’re too busy thinking about your weight - about food. You’ll see it when you recover though and you’ll hate yourself for doing that to the ones you love. You’ll wish there was something you could do to erase it, but there is nothing. You just have to live with it…and living with it is hard. Especially when you think of how many times your anger came out on them - how many times you became nasty when they were only trying to save your life. You’ll hate yourself.

But, do you know what? Self-hatred is the least of your worries now. Because, you’ve likely just signed your own death warrant…and you likely don’t even care…yet. But, you will. You will care. You will care, and you will cry, and rage, and swear you’d give anything to take it all back. But, it’s too late, because by the time you’re in deep enough to care, you’re already dying. It’s too late to snap out of it now, no matter how much you want to.

This is the reality of anorexia. It is nothing like the powerful articles you read on how so and so overcame it. It is nothing like the beauty you see when you look at that thin model. It is nothing like that beautiful popular girl who naturally weighs 80lbs. It is nothing like anything you’ve ever lived before and you will never be the same."

[originally from http://unknownocean.tumblr.com/post/...to-be-anorexic ] ]]> PMS TheSkittles http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1414 PMS Halo 3 PodCast Radio! http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1413 Tue, 29 Jun 2010 14:20:44 GMT Have you had your weekly dose of Podcast lately?

If not, join the ladies of the PMS NA Halo 3 Division as they discuss the what's-going-on and the where's-it-happening on the PMS NA Halo 3 Division Podcast Radio!

Currently in their Second Season, our Hostess with the Mostess PMS Goosechecka joins her co-hosts PMS Ovaryacting & PMS Minx to share with all of you listeners the what's up!

Weekly guests and laughs abound, so join us!






Click the link above!
 ]]> PMS Solincia http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1413 MMA Fight http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1412 Mon, 28 Jun 2010 03:19:30 GMT I may have my 10th MMA Fight lined up at Roanoke Civic Center in Roanoke, Virginia. Would love to have fans and support from anyone in the area. If... I may have my 10th MMA Fight lined up at Roanoke Civic Center in Roanoke, Virginia. Would love to have fans and support from anyone in the area. If you want to see the fight let me know! :D


7-2 Right now fighting Middleweight at 185 pounds. ]]> Kestral H2O http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1412 Theres alot of... http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1410 Sat, 26 Jun 2010 08:37:55 GMT Crazy people...nuff said. Can't go around a corner without seeing something ridonkulous. ]]> Kestral H2O http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1410 Never-ending Neverland... Peter Pan is Home http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1408 Sat, 26 Jun 2010 00:42:32 GMT So... it's been a year.

No matter what your thoughts are on the accusations imposed against him, we must all remember that Michael Jackson was indeed not only an amazing singer, but that he also inspired the world through his lyrics and imaginative performances.

His charisma, his energy, his passion, his endurance, all gave light what made him MJ, and what made us love him time after time.

Michael Jackson was always the performer, always the entertainer, always looking for ways to be loved.

And we do.

Through his childhood years, to his final days, we loved the performances of the King of Pop with undying eagerness and affection.

Today we remember as the day of his passing just one short year ago. Today we mourn the loss of one of the greatest entertainers of ours and our parents generation.

To Sir, with Love...

~ MJ ]]> PMS Solincia http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1408 <![CDATA[There's a lighting storm right now]]> http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1398 Sun, 20 Jun 2010 00:49:19 GMT And its amazing. And its amazing. ]]> Kestral H2O http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1398 <![CDATA[5 Years since I've joined pms]]> http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1394 Wed, 16 Jun 2010 14:50:38 GMT I posted this is in the PMS section but might as well make it public for all to see my story. Yeah been 5 years here but I haven't gamed this whole time. I've been continuing my college studies and I'm doing well seeing as I'm getting paid as an undergrad to do biomedical research. I will never forget this part of my life in the clan. I met many of the ladies and guys at the gaming events, which was so much fun. I received advice and mentoring if you will from these women. I find myself to be a confident, and determined woman due to these phenomenal woman that I met and gamed with. I feel that I owe them at least a thanks especially to Amy, Amber, Marcella, Terrie, Brandee, Cori, and Jess. :mvsuprisehug: I'll still keep visiting from time to time. See y'all around. :mvsmile:


Quote:
Originally Posted by PMS BurningStar View Post
Hola Ladies!:mvwave:

It's been awhile since I've logged on here, but an artifact I found led me here today. This artifact is a souvenir of an MLG event I participated in Houston. The date 03/11/2005.

I'm astounded at how long ago this was, 5 years. I remember joining the clan October/November 2004. Back then, I remember seeing these "PMS" titles in Unreal Championship and in Wolfenstein and I learned of who they were and what they represented, "Psychotic Men Slayerz"! haha I soon joined the Counter Strike team so I was more familiar with Amber over Amy who was in Rainbow Six along with Stratford, Princess, Raven, etc. I loved being part of this amazing community of female gamers because I no longer had to be anonymous online. It was a safe haven for me.

Then, I was 16, a junior/senior in high school who was a very active gamer. Heck I remember being the only 'star'. Now, I'm 21, a senior in college, glad to say I'll graduate next May and that I'll be doing graduate school after. However, I knew college was going to require serious time from me, and I was a very diligent student. As a result I didn't keep up with the systems or games. I was more worried about tuition, books, rent, etc. And as many of you know, its tough to balance out school/work/family/personal life. The only games I play now are on my Nintendo 64 and on my iPhone.

I see many gamertags I don't recognize on here, but we are all family here. Just want to let y'all know that you're in good hands with these great leaders.

I still think about the clan and how many people have affected me as a person. So from time to time I still take a peek at the PMS and FD sites to see everyone doing great. It was fun to put a face to the name at the gaming events I got a chance to attend. Everyone was so kind and hospitable and I was so thankful. I just want to thank all the ladies I've known and met but especially the ladies I saw as mentors that shaped me into the confident woman I am today, all of you are phenomenal and its been a pleasure: Amy, Amber, Marcella, Terrie (Trixie), Brandee (Dangerdoll), Cori, Jess (Fragetty Ann). Keep up the great work ladies. :mvreallyhappy:
See y'all around.

Sincerely,
Elena aka BurningStar

Then, at a gaming event with Kat and Amy, original Frag Dolls



Now
]]> PMS BurningStar http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1394 Tomorrow http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1391 Tue, 15 Jun 2010 03:41:55 GMT I can't tell you it's going to be ok, tomorrow will come
I can't promise you tomorrow, or the warmth of the sun
I can't die for you and I won't lie to you
We all have to go...
But I will hold your hand and sit for awhile
Content to be alive, content with your smile

Unfinshed

Jericho Many Guns aka. Battles ]]> H2O Battles http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1391 Tank!!!! http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1390 Tue, 15 Jun 2010 03:41:15 GMT Looking down the barrel of my AK-47
A zombie stumbles forward, I'm definitely in heaven
I pop off three rounds, two in the chest and one in the head
It's four in the goddamn morning why the hell ain't I in bed?
Daft Punk blazes as we charge the enemy line
Fire at random with my brothers in arms and partners in crime
Smoker in the window and Jocky on the right!
For undead creatures they put up a hell of a fight
Boomer straight ahead, fat man can't hide
Boomer up above? Oh my god you ******* lied!
As my vision gets all blurry I hear the steady beep
Pipe-bomb let loose, the zombies gather up like sheep
Laugh at the corpses as they rain from above
Some call that "gross" some call that zombie love
The blazing red door comes into view
Three more block our path, we wonder why so few?
The earth begins to rumble, the buildings start to shake
Oh my ******* god, is that a goddamn tank!?!

Jericho Many Guns AKA. Battles ]]> H2O Battles http://www.pmsclan.com/forum/blog.php?b=1390